Of course, this same reputation makes it quite competitive for admissions, especially for out-of-state students. In this article, weā€™re going to break down a particular part of that admissions process, namely the Ross Artifact, part of their supplement. Weā€™ll cover what it is and why they want it, then go over an example from a past ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų student, so you can understand how you can answer this question yourself. Letā€™s get started!

The Ross Supplement

Each college within the broader University of Michigan handles admissions separately. Most ask only for the overall application, but the Ross School of Business wants more; namely a pair of additional essays. Given the amount of interest Ross receives, this makes sense; they both want to make sure students are serious enough about attending to be willing to write two more short essays, and have more information to go off of when evaluating students.

The supplement asks for the following two essays: 

1. Choose a current event or issue in your community and discuss the business implications. Propose a solution that incorporates business principles or practices. The review panel will look for creativity, drawing connections, and originality. (Please limit this response to approximately 500 words.)
2. Upload a document or artifact that represents something significant about your life to show your learning in action. Describe how your artifact demonstrates your learning in action. (250 words)

The first of these is an irregular essay perhaps, but it is an essay still, much like you would find at any other college, even if the prompt is unique. Itā€™s a great place for you to show off your passion for business, and any bright ideas you might have for your future endeavors in the field.

The second prompt, however, is far strangers, and throws many students for a loop. They ask for an image, and then writing describing it. This is unique; Rice asks for an image, yes, but the only thing that really compares to this is arts supplements; itā€™s not something anyone really expects to find in a business schoolā€™s application.

Why Does Ross Have This Supplement?

They do not give a specific reason; does share examples of what they accept, but doesnā€™t dive deep into their motivations for asking for such a thing. We can, however, glean some information based on what they highlight, and what they give as past examples of exemplary work.

The first prompt is to delve into your understanding of and approach to business. Ross, as with every school, wants students who will contribute significant things, both while they are students and after they graduate, and they use this first prompt to judge your current understanding of business, and your ambitions within that broader field. This isnā€™t an essay asking why you want to study business, but much more a dive into your understanding of it.

The second item is much more intended to understand you, as a person and student. It doesnā€™t need to be related to business at all (though it certainly can be). Unlike the first essay, this one can much more easily re-use material from another application, with the caveat that you then need an item, a picture, to upload alongside it. 

It is this second part that creates the most challenge for students; if you donā€™t intend to study art, then you likely never expected to need some visual representation of what youā€™ve done and how it showcases your personality. This is, however, a great chance to show off aspects of yourself that you otherwise would not get to in the admissions process. 

A Ross Artifact Example

We arenā€™t going to share an example of a Ross artifact directly, out of respect for our studentsā€™ privacy, but you can see some on University of Michiganā€™s . We will, however, include an example of what a student wrote for this essay, and a brief description of what they included for their artifact, along with a selection of other artifact descriptions from students past. 

Example

After an hour of intense debating, my eyes were locked on the judgeā€™s hand as he wrote his vote on the ballot. ā€œGreat round. It was close, but I vote for the affirmative.ā€ The corners of my mouth turned down involuntarily. Losing the round meant that I couldnā€™t qualify for state for another three weeks. I knew that in order to qualify, I would have to work more diligently than ever.

The artifact I have submitted is a rebuttal redo from the round I lost. In a rebuttal redo, debaters get together and remodel their unsatisfactory round, adding the judgeā€™s feedback while the other debater listens and offers feedback. After a few days of contemplating the judgeā€™s comments, I called my friend and asked her to be my redo partner. 

Although this recording is only nine minutes long, it accurately reflects my learning process. Analyzing and applying the judgeā€™s comments, I added ā€œweighingā€ arguments and additional responses to the ā€œframeworkā€. After delivering the redo to Charly, I absorbed her observations and applied them to future debate rounds. After countless redos, I successfully qualified for state. I am eager to employ the same process of learning in college.

Artifact Analysis

This is a short essay, at merely 250 words, but is a chance for you to show off aspects of your interests and values you have not had the chance to cover yet elsewhere in your application. In the example above, the student chose to focus on an example outside of business; namely, their experience as a debater. 

Debate is an interesting activity, partway between sport and academic endeavor, but the point of this essay and the submitted artifact in this case is not to highlight the thrill of victory over the authorā€™s competitors. Instead, it focuses on a less-viewed aspect, how the author responds to failure, and how they learned from and built upon the lessons of that.

There is a brief discussion of what the artifact is; this is important to provide context, especially if it is something the judges may be unfamiliar with. A photo of you playing baseball is likely to be self-explanatory, other images may need more context. In this case, the student needed to explain what the artifact itself was, and then its significance in the realm of debate. This can be important; admissions officers know a lot, but they wonā€™t know the particulars of every activity. If your artifact is related to something niche, or relies on understanding of the workings of a very particular field, then you will also need to include context like this.

Note that any description of what an artifact is should be brief; you only have 250 words for this essay, and the bulk should be spent on why this artifact is important; not what it is so much as what it symbolizes for you. 

In the example above, the author explains how this artifact showcases their response to a failure, and how they learned from and built upon this failure. This is a way for them to demonstrate their values and resilience, and also to showcase a side of themselves that admissions officers like seeing.

You will encounter failure in college; at some point things will go wrong, and youā€™ll bomb a test, have a catastrophic lab, or write an essay that completely misses the mark. Whatā€™s important is how you respond to that failure when it occurs, learning and growing from it, rather than letting it overwhelm you. This essay does a good job of that, showcasing the authorā€™s resilience. 

Your own essay doesnā€™t need to showcase this specific value; indeed, you can highlight any particular aspect of your personality you feel is worth showing to admissions officers. This can reuse another essay you wrote, highlighting your leadership, or an extracurricular you excelled in, or some other aspect of your life and skills worth noting. This can be related to business, but does not need to be. 

Choosing an Artifact

Your own choice of artifact can be almost any image, from photograph to schematics to certificate; the point is not the image itself, but the story behind it. When you apply to college, you are telling admissions officers the story of you, and the point of this artifact is to contribute to this story. 

You should begin by picking what story you want to tell, and then choose an artifact based on that, rather than the reverse. If you have already written another essay exemplifying one of your values or activities for another college that you havenā€™t already discussed in your University of Michigan application, then you can definitely adapt that. You will need to add to the essay to explain what the artifact is and how it relates to your message, but the core of the essay can remain the same.

As always, we advocate never doing more work than you have to; working smarter is the best way to reduce the stress of the college application season.

Final Thoughts

The University of Michigan is an excellent school, and their business program is one of the best in the country. As with every great program, admissions are competitive, all the more so because of the unusual approach they take to the essays they ask for. We hope this article has given you the insight you need to understand the Ross artifact, and how you can best represent yourself in your application to the university.

Every application has a lot of moving parts, and the Ross artifact is just one of the things youā€™ll need to keep track of when you apply. If you are looking for help writing your own essays to Ross, or on polishing any other aspect of your application, then ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų can help. Our mentors are experts at every aspect of college admissions, and have seen plenty of students get into Michigan. Schedule a free consultation today to learn more; weā€™re always happy to hear from you. 

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Answering these is often a challenge for students, as many college essays are. In this article, weā€™re going to go over each of the prompts the UC system has, then give an example of a past essay written by an ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų student to answer it, and analyze what that essay does well. Finally, weā€™ll give you some brief advice on knowing what prompts you should answer. Letā€™s get started!

The Mechanics of UC Personal Insight Questions

There are eight prompts for the Personal Insight Questions (PIQs); you must choose four of these to answer. Each essay you write can be up to 350 words long, we generally recommend you make use of all of this space (as you will see in the examples below).

As with the Common App, these answers are entered directly into the online form. You should compose your essays ahead of time and edit them in a separate document, then enter and upload them only once you are ready to submit. You may choose any four of the questions to answer; the schools give no preference.

As with the Common App essay, these responses go out to each of the UC schools you are applying to. Thus, none of them should address the schools directly; UC Santa Barbara has no desire to read about how much you love UCLA, or what a great fit UC San Diego is for you. Your responses should focus on you and your accomplishments, what you have done and what your values are. 

We will now go through each prompt in turn, and give an example of a response to each, along with analysis. You need only answer four of these, but weā€™ll give examples for all of them.

Leadership Essay Example

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

ā€œZai jian,ā€ my dad says as he leaves home to manage our family restaurant two hours away. 

ā€œXiao xin,ā€ my mom replies as she locks her office door behind her. Though my dad works onsite, my mom works at home, taking care of all the financial aspects of our family business. 

Once alone, I see the light flicker above me, hear the faucet drip in the kitchen, and eye a cracked tile beneath my shoe. The responsibility of housework falls upon me. When light bulbs burn out, rusty faucets leak, and expired food piles up in the fridge, I take matters into my own hands. While my parents are busy running their business, Iā€™m busy running our home.

My journey into home improvement began when the first wave of video doorbells entered the market. Intrigued by the night vision functionality, I was the first to pounce and install one. I began to see other ways I could help — installing smart light bulbs not only lasted longer, but saved power and lowered energy costs. I began to replace old, burnt-out ones with newer, more energy-efficient ones instead.

Two years ago, when the sink basin began to rust and the wooden cabinets started to fall apart, I became responsible for picking out new, more durable wood and deciding on a more efficient floorplan that worked for all of us. Since then, Iā€™ve taken on even more responsibilities at home, from installing security cameras to replacing frayed wires by soldering new ones. I change broken light switches for new smart switches, and research and purchase new appliances like dishwashers and microwave ovens when their time comes. 

I am glad to have taken on the role of in-house contractor. My parents have given me amazing support to pursue my interests in robotics, coding, and videography, and have given me an opportunity to develop a sense of responsibility and the grit to solve everyday problems. 

Fixing our home is my way of thanking my parents for their hard work with a bit of my own.

Leadership Essay Analysis

The key to understanding how to answer this prompt is to understand what counts as leadership. The prompt wants to see how you positively influenced a group via your leadership; which means this isnā€™t something you were directed to do by others, but came from some intrinsic motivation. The UCs want to see how you stepped up and assumed responsibility, whether through a position which imparts it (such as student council), or in a more informal setting (such as the above essay).

Whatever essay you write should impart how you showed leadership, why it was necessary for you to do so, and what you learned from the experience. Showing how your experience with leadership made you learn and grow as a person will add further depth to the essay, and allow you to show off your other values and qualities. 

A narrative is often the easiest way to answer this question, either with a deep dive into a single instance, or a more extended overview of your process of assuming a leadership role, as in the above essay. It is possible to write a non-narrative essay about leadership, but this is often more difficult. Regardless of the style of essay, make sure you convey how you acted as a leader.

What do leaders do? They demonstrate leadership by taking on responsibility, offering guidance to others, working for a goal greater than themselves, or directing the efforts of a group. Regardless of how you personally showed leadership, this essay should demonstrate how you have acted as a leader.

The UC schools value leadership greatly, so we recommend answering this question if you are able to. Demonstrating that you are willing and able to take initiative when called upon is a trait all colleges like to see, but the UC schools, especially UCLA and Berkeley, value it more than most. This is a question asked by many schools, and if you are converting another leadership essay for this prompt, consider adding more details, and a deeper exploration of what you learned from the experience.

Creative Essay Example

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

My feet hit the floor to the beat of the tablaā€”a classical Indian instrument. 

In Hindi, ā€œguruā€ means teacher, and Shiva Aunty was my guru. She opened my eyes to Kathak, an Indian classical dance form originating from North India. For six years, I learned the graceful art which was focused on telling a story through facial expressions and rhythmic footwork. 

Unable to find a Kathak guru after moving, I pursued my passion for Indian dance through another styleā€”Bharatanatyam. This style originated from South India, emphasizing firm movements. I eagerly drove to Sowmya Auntyā€™s classes and danced as though there was no tomorrow. 

As I transitioned schools, I wasnā€™t able to continue to attend my Bharatanatyam lessons. Instead, I watched Bollywood dance videos and aspired to dance like my favorite Indian actresses. At the end of junior year, I rallied my creative juices, choreographed an Arshia-version of a Bollywood dance to a Hindi song, and performed with my floormates for our school talent show. 

Both junior and senior year, Iā€™ve signed up for studio dance, one of the fine arts offered at my school. Iā€™m definitely not the best at hip-hopā€”popping and locking donā€™t really blend with my classical upbringing. But itā€™s a way for me to giggle at myself as I swing my arms and jump side to side with my friends. When our studio teacher, Aubrey, instructs us to freestyle in the middle of the gym floor, I no longer hold back. I spin to the hip-hop beat, remembering my Kathak roots and exhibiting a mixture of my Kathak-hip-hop rendition of Andy Grammerā€™s ā€œGood to be Alive.ā€ 

Iā€™ve been able to gain a richer understanding of my culture through my classical upbringing by learning about the background and importance of the dance styles. Though itā€™s been challenging to find ways to continue dancing, Iā€™ve realized that remaining connected to my culture and passions is whatā€™s most important to meā€”resulting in my ability to spread a creative blend of Indian and American dance through our Melting Pot. 

Creative Essay Analysis

This prompt is rather open ended, as creativity is something which everyone expresses differently. This is a good prompt to answer if you want to highlight your artistic talents, and if you are applying as an art major you should definitely answer this prompt. If you are otherwise engaged in artistic or traditionally creative extracurriculars, this prompt will be easier to answer. If you have a definitive answer for this prompt, you should consider answering it, even if it involves a non-traditional creative outlet. If you canā€™t come up with an answer, move on to another prompt, instead of struggling to answer one which does not complement your skills and character.

The example above discusses the authorā€™s relationship with dance. First through learning several traditional styles of Indian dance, then through learning choreography, and finally through melding their traditional styles with American hip hop. While this essay is mainly about how the author interacts with dance, and through that the wider world, they also express several other values in the essay. They show a willingness to step outside their comfort zone, and learn new styles of dance. They show an eagerness to collaborate with others, and a desire to experience new things.

What the author does well in this example is going beyond merely answering the question. While they do answer the question posed well, they also take this as a chance to demonstrate who they are as a person and artist to admissions officers. This is clearly an important aspect of their personality, and this essay gives them a chance to dive deeply into one of their extracurriculars. While the UC application does give more space to discuss your activities than the Common App, for one as important as this clearly is, itā€™s good to devote an essay to exploring its impact on you more deeply.

This prompt is not a good one to answer for everyone, but can be a good opportunity to show another side of yourself to admissions, and add some depth to your essay. If you unwind from doing calculus by teaching yourself guitar, or find beauty in creating video games, then this essay will allow you to show yourself and your activities in a different light. Admissions officers want to see the most complete and genuine portrait of you possible. If your creative activities are integral to understanding who you are, you should definitely respond to this prompt.

Education Example

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

My mind was dominated by Calculus II. Pop quizzes and five-question exams presented uncertainties that I had never encountered before; the idea of academic failure sent chills down my spine. What was previously unfathomable soon became a reality. I held the grade report in my trembling hands, peering down at a letter I had never seen. As my shock dissipated, I faced the challenging task of restarting my stalled learning process. Step by step I inched my way into Dr. Kighuradzeā€™s office, the tension tightening my shoulders. Admitting I had a problem was my first step, and it was all downhill from there.

Resources were abundant, but what made the difference was a paradigm shift: starting the school year scared of failure, I finished with the Zen acceptance that failure was an opportunity to self-correct. The word ā€œcalculusā€ became less daunting. Fear now fueled me to push forward, driving me to engage with the problems that provoked me. Intrinsically motivated and driven by a thirst for knowledge, I dug into the theoretical groundwork of my exams as well as the mechanics of their problems, determined to hunt down every last bit of confusion. The journey to the top of calculus mountain concluded, my grade 16 points higher.

Evaluating antiderivatives and natural logarithms taught me more about myself than I ever expected. I now view life through a different lensā€” one that shows me I am capable of overcoming anything. The ā€œBā€ I received reflects this. ā€œBā€ no longer means ā€œbad.ā€ It now means ā€œbold.ā€ The word has shifted in my vocabulary from being used in the context of Microsoft Word, to a word I use to describe myself. When I face new challenges, I am proud to say I have new things to learn. Where I once saw my transcript as merely a record of attending classes, I now see it as a showcase of my resilience.

Education Analysis

If you struggled academically in highschool due to circumstances outside of your control, or if you took part in an educational opportunity outside of the norm, this essay is the place to discuss it. The prompt goes in two directions simultaneously, the first aimed at those who received an educational opportunity not commonly available, the second aimed at those who struggled academically and succeeded in spite of barriers. This essay allows you to give greater context to the grades you received, and to your academic accomplishments.

Note that this essay is not a place to try and explain away every poor grade. Instead, if you faced circumstances which interrupted your education or otherwise made success difficult, this is a palace to expound upon them. Admissions officers know that many circumstances are out of your control as a student, but they want to see how you dealt with the challenges which you faced, and how you worked to overcome them.

The example above shows how to approach the subject of academic challenges and failures in a concrete way. The author details how they confronted their own shortcomings in calculus, and how they worked to overcome them. The idea of shifting mentality, and recontextualizing a problem is a good one. This shows personal growth, and that a change occurred besides ā€œworking harderā€ or some movie montage of late nights in a library. 

Explaining the problem you faced and how you overcame it in concrete terms helps contextualize your academic performance. In the example above, the way the author frames their journey shows their maturation, both as a person and as a scholar. Failure is often part of the learning process, and while a consistent record of failure may harm your application, this essay is a chance to show how you overcame and learned from failure.

Not everyone will need to complete this essay, and not everyone should. Only if you have educational pursuits, good or ill, which you think deserve a greater depth of explanation should this be one of the essays you select. While colleges will get a report from your counselor as to the difficulty of the classes you took and other information relevant to the school, this essay is a place to explain how you interacted and learned from the process as a whole. If your educational journey deviated far from the norm, this is a good essay for you to write.

Challenge Essay Example

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

5:30AM: ā€œWake up! Youā€™re gonna be late for cross country practice!ā€ 

What had been an ā€˜emptyā€™ threat used to get me off the couch all summer was suddenly a reality. Picture a scrawny newb tiptoeing across the linoleum, blending into the lockers like a chameleon in a den of fierce varsity lions. As I prepared to run the first mile of my life, the track extended before me like a python coiling around its prey. Within minutes, my lungs ached and my shins stung as my sneakers hit the turf, and by the time I finally crossed the finish line, the other runnersā€™ sweat had already dried. 10 minutes, 38 seconds. I never wanted to see the track again. When my dad asked me how practice went, I lied and said I didnā€™t make the team, but he saw right through me. I resorted to syllogisms, puppy-dog-eyes, and everything in between, but he wouldnā€™t budge.

Although I had shaved more than two minutes off my turtlish mile time within a few months, I never even made the top 50% in the participation race. Rather than getting frustrated, I slowly shifted my line of sight from the finish line to the track itself, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, aligning my breath with each step, and embracing who I was in the moment: The Winded Cross Country Star.

My life has been a succession of sprints toward an ever-moving finish line. From grades and test scores to hobbies and extracurriculars, my incessant pursuit of achievement has often left me exhausted and unfulfilled. Cross countryā€™s seemingly unattainable finish lines in the distance sparked a shift in my understanding of a life well lived. Running has enabled me to balance this pursuit of achievement with an appreciation for ā€œthe raceā€ itself. This mentality will serve as my starting block at the University of California.

Challenge Essay Analysis

This prompt is somewhat similar to the previous one, but with a wider scope. Instead of only academic challenges, you are free to discuss whatever setback life threw your way which proved most challenging. In addition, you should discuss how this challenge impacted your academics, for good or ill. If you struggled in classes for reasons outside of school, this prompt may be a better place to discuss those setbacks than the previous one. 

The challenge you face does not necessarily have to impact your academics negatively. In the example above, the author learns valuable lessons in perseverance and acquired a new perspective on chasing success, which translated to their academic interests as well. Challenges can teach many lessons, though they may come painfully, and seeing how those lessons can be applied in new circumstances allows you to avoid having to learn the same lesson twice.

The authorā€™s struggles with cross country are small things, relative to the grand scheme, but that is often the case. All struggles are personal, and someone always has it worse. While you should avoid making a big deal about nothing, if you struggled mightily with something and learned valuable lessons from the experience, this essay is a place to share. 

This is a less popular prompt, as not everyone has faced a significant challenge, or learned an important lesson from overcoming one. If you did face major challenges outside of school, and they did impact your academic performance, you should detail that here. You should also include what you learned from these challenges, and what new perspectives you gained. Many people face challenges, and colleges want to see students who are able to succeed in spite of them, or learn valuable lessons from them.

If you have not faced challenges of this sort, consider answering another prompt instead. This prompt can highlight lessons you learned the hard way, and highlight your character, but it is one of the harder prompts to respond to, and there is no shame in selecting one of the more straightforward ones.

Academic Interest Example

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. 

During my second semester of junior year, I was able to deepen my friendships with some fascinating friendsā€” Heterochromatin, Poly(A) tails, Genes, Hairpin Loops, Proteins, and of course, DNA and RNA. The genetics course that I took during junior year sparked a passion for understanding the mechanisms that made my new friends tick and how their dispositions changed our lives. 

Guided by my mentor, I now conduct graduate-level research on the neurodegenerative disease, Friedreich Ataxia (FA). By growing my own cell cultures using FA patient cells, assisting with bisulfite conversion (a process which changes the chemical makeup of DNA), and helping with polymerase chain reactions (a lab technique used to amplify a gene), I learned techniques that help me ask new, better questions than I used to. Participating in these activities with my macromolecular friends, I saw a future in science where I could both have fun and make a positive difference in the world. Then, I made a mistake.

After my first experiment went awryā€”I should have taken extra steps against cross-contaminationā€”I was terrified to admit my mistake to the team. I never would have guessed that I was actually going through a rite of passage for every scientist. I was stunned when a senior researcher beat me to the punch at our weekly lab meetings, telling us that she made the same mistake and discussed the protocol she should have followed. The small moment changed my perspective; I began to see research not only as living up to expectations, but as discovering new and improved techniques. All of a sudden, what felt like a risk now felt like an opportunity.

I knew that I loved scienceā€”after all, I do go to a math and science schoolā€”but having the ability to have hands-on experiences has truly driven me forward to act on my passions. The ability for me to take the step toward my passions for science has reemphasized my determination to make a difference in this world as I plan to work to learn about the genetics surrounding neuroscienceā€”how genetic predispositions differ culturally, affecting mental health globally. Iā€™ve expanded my friend group. Now, it includes DNA methyltransferase, CpG islands, and Dr. Bidichandani and his team. 

Academic Interest Analysis

This essay is similar to a Why Major essay, without specifically calling itself a Why Major essay. If you have already had to write, or will have to write, an essay about your academic interests and what you want to major in, this is a very easy prompt to answer. It is also a good prompt to answer generally, as some of the UC schools admit by major, and are keen to see what caused your interest in the subject.

The above essay does a very good job of this. The author clearly displays their passions for science, goes in depth into one of their extracurriculars in the field, and also shows how they grew and matured as a researcher. In this way the essay is able to do many things at once, and is stronger for it.

This example does touch briefly on the authorā€™s plans to consider pursuing biology in the future, but it is almost an afterthought. This is as it should be, the main focus of this essay should be what you have already done, and not on what you plan to do. As this essay goes to every school in the UC system you apply to, just like the personal statement, it cannot be school specific. This means the normal advice of targeting an essay about specific majors to a school does not apply in this instance. Instead dive deeper into why you became interested in the field in the first place, and how you explored those passions.

This is an easier prompt to answer, and we recommend that most students answer it, especially if you have heavy involvement with extracurriculars which match your interests. This provides a place to dive deeply into one of your activities and what it taught you, and to demonstrate how your passion for a subject was formed and nourished. If you are able to include other values and lessons, as the above essay does, all the better.

Community Example

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?  

“YES! I GOT IT RIGHT!” 

Amidst the kids’ joyous cheering, I couldn’t help but laugh aloud. STAAR was right around the corner, and the elementary students were lively, happy, and ready. Over the past fifteen months, I had learned more than I ever could have taught. 

When I co-founded PiLinguals with my friend, the club was focused exclusively on facilitating a small, weekly math circle for aspiring AIME qualifiers. Cloistered in the local library every other Saturday afternoon, we coached middle schoolers through tough problems and difficult theorems ā€“ all in the hopes that they would breach the boundary to the AIME, which some soon did. 

However, after six months of diligent work, our mission suddenly and definitively shifted when we glimpsed a striking lack of textbooks, encyclopedias, and computers during a community service visit to local elementary schools. We turned PiLinguals into a collaborative non-profit organization focused on broadening STEM learning opportunities for all children, not just competition trainees. And in doing so, we’ve discovered a new sense of passion. 

Now, weekends are bustling. One day I’m explaining fossil fuels to a class of elementary kids, and the next I’m reviewing De Moivreā€™s Theorem with rising mathletes. Excitedly reading technical postulates and presenting intriguing analogies fills me with joy, allowing me to apply my own creative twists to simplify largely-obscure concepts. 

As I have taught, I have also learned much more. While scrambling door-to-door and pleading for book donations, hosting PiLingual’s very own charity competition, and speaking our Middle School’s Career Day, I have learned how to coordinate large-scale fundraisers and other meaningful events for worthy causes. Our traction allowed us to take our efforts to AoPS, a popular math problem solving website and discussion forum that now hosts more than 300 of our online students.

But our work isn’t done. We plan to expand even further, and are already establishing a branch in Maryland. PiLinguals has taught me how to interact with the students around me, but most importantly, how to be a leader in my community and spread the love of education. 

Community Analysis

This question is looking for how you contributed positively to a community you have been a part of. The question itself is very vague; this is intentional, as there are many ways communities are expressed, and many ways students have made them better. These schools want to admit students who are eager to improve their communities, and use past evidence of involvement to gauge whether students will be well suited to continue doing so in the future.

Your community impact does not have to be world-changing, but you should show a genuine willingness to help make the world better through your efforts. The magnitude of your impact on the community is one of the better ways to measure success, but it is not the only one.

In the example above, the author describes how their initial community involvement, impressive in its own right, grew into something larger. By showing how their connection grew naturally, and how much they were willing to do for the community they were a part of, they clearly show their values. At the end, where they discuss plans for future expansion of their program, they show that they arenā€™t willing to accept a modest success and coast, but are instead constantly looking to improve even further.

There is no correct answer to this question, no singular form of community service which is clearly better or which admissions officers value more. Instead, you should demonstrate your own passions and willingness to work to improve communities you are a part of. It is this passion and drive that admissions officers are looking for. 

This is one of the easiest and most straightforward essays to answer for the UC prompts, as so many schools ask similar questions. This essay allows you to discuss one of your extracurriculars in depth, and also demonstrate what values you hold to admissions officers. We recommend this prompt, as it is an easy way to show what you care about, and who you are as a person. 

Free Response Example

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Ascending the headquartersā€™ steps, I imagined my time at the campaign headquarters would be spent tediously phone banking and endlessly canvassing door-to-door. Speaking to the Field Director, though, I learned she instead wanted help reaching out to the underrepresented Asian voters by creating relational networks from databases of volunteersā€™ friends and family. 

Initially, the campaign envisioned a simple Excel-based system to track potential voters; However, as the field director walked me through the Texas Democratsā€™ extensive online database and taught me how to analyze raw voter data, it dawned on me that I could apply familiar algorithmic concepts to carry out the campaignā€™s vision. 

To construct the system, I canvassed from one side of the city to the other, requesting and gathering daily early voting reports from three county offices. Returning to campaign headquarters, I was immediately greeted whole-heartedly by the staff and welcomed into the tech room: I was now a fully-fledged member of the team.

For the next six weeks until the start of early voting, I tirelessly improved upon the system. I compressed hundreds of relational and voting files, creating a mailing system that updated the nearly 250 volunteers with daily emails indicating whether their friends had voted yet. By the time election day arrived, the system had gone through dozens of iterations.

As I watched the results roll in on November 6th, coding transformed from an abstract language into concrete action capable of changing the world. The painstaking hours I spent constructing the system, the countless phone calls I made with the field directors, the numerous team meetings I had eagerly joined ā€“ all were worth it. 

We lost the election, but each and every new refinement to my program was a small step toward changing the political system as a whole. I helped narrow the gap from 20% to 5% ā€“ an unprecedented turnout for a Texas-based Democrat candidate. 

It was a first step ā€“ not just for political representation of the Asian community, but for me as a future programmer and conscientious citizen.

Free Response Analysis

This is quite possibly the broadest possible prompt for a college essay. You can write about almost anything, so long as it is germane to your application. This is a good chance to show off other values you hold, other lessons youā€™ve learned, or other extracurriculars youā€™ve taken part in. Ideally, you can cover all three in a single essay. While this choice may seem overwhelming, it is also freeing. You can cover any topics you wish which you think will show your best aspects to a school.

The example above is about many things at once, but tells the reader a number of important things about the author. It is, in part, a challenge essay. While this may not have been the biggest challenge the author faced, this response holds similarities to responses to the challenge prompt above. The author explains the difficulties they faced, the long odds against them, and what they learned and accomplished in spite of their apparent failure. While their candidate did not get elected, they contributed to the democratic process, increased voter turnout, and expanded their skillset as a programmer.

This essay further explores the authorā€™s role in the Asian-American community, especially in regards to political involvement. While the essay does not delve deep into the authorā€™s own ideas about identity, it is an undercurrent which informs the events in the essay.

The values the author learned are perhaps the most important part of the essay. Failure is a part of life and learning, and can be a good teacher if you let it. While the author and the campaign they worked on did not win, they did increase voter participation, and create a system which will be used and built upon in the future. Winning isnā€™t everything, and the author displays maturity in knowing that, and acknowledging the positives that came alongside their electoral loss.

Your own essay does not have to be on the subject of a challenge, or a failure. What it should do is display what values you hold, what lessons youā€™ve learned, and who you are as a person. This is a high bar, and if you would have an easier time answering one of the more constrained prompts, there is no shame in it. The other benefit this prompt provides is a chance to repackage your personal statement, if it canā€™t be used to answer any of the other prompts. You put a lot of effort into perfecting your personal statement, and using it to answer one of UCā€™s prompts is a great way to cut down on the amount of writing you have to do.

Which UC PIQs Should You Answer?

Now that weā€™ve seen all of these examples, the question facing you is which of these questions you should answer. Thereā€™s no single right way to do this, but we do have some advice to ensure that your time is spent both wisely and well. 

First, you should try to cross apply essays where you can. If you already need to write an essay about a particular activity or answer a similar prompt for another collegeā€™s supplemental, then you should use it for one of these essays as well. Never make more work for yourself if you donā€™t need to. 

Next, you should always turn your personal statement into the answer for one of these essays. UC schools donā€™t want your personal statement, but you spent a lot of time and effort working on making a great one, and you shouldnā€™t allow that to go to waste either. Which prompt this answer depends on what you wrote, but thereā€™s always prompt 8 if it doesnā€™t match any of the others. 

Finally, if you complete the additional information section on the Common App, some of that information, especially if you had an academic disruption, could be used to answer the related UC question. This wonā€™t always be relevant; some things discussed in the Additional Info section wonā€™t fit the prompt, but it is worth looking into. 

Final Thoughts

The University of California schools are excellent, and include some of the best public universities in the country. Their application can feel daunting, especially since their essays are something of a departure from the Common App. We hope that this article has given you the insight you need to properly answer these questions, and to figure out which essays will best enable you to tell your story. 

If you are looking for help with your applications, or advice on crafting these essays when you apply to UC schools, then ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų can help. Our mentors are well experienced at guiding students through the essay writing process, and weā€™ve helped students get into every one of the UC schools before. Schedule a free consultation today to learn more about how we can help you.

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Virginia Techā€™s AI Essay Review

In an in late July, Virginia Tech unveiled two major admissions changes. The first is that their early admissions deadline is moving up, from November 15 to November 1. The second is that they are integrating a new review system where essays are read by both human reviewers and an automated system. This, understandably, caused a great deal of concern amongst prospective students. To help clarify things, a provost from Virginia Tech sat down for an interview with .

In Virginia Techā€™s current system, essays are first read and scored by two human reviewers; if their scores differ by four or more points, then they are reviewed and rescored by a third. In the new approach, the essays are read by a human and this new AI tool; if the AI score differs from the human one by two points or more, then the essay is reviewed again by another human reader. 

This is not a commercial tool, but one developed and iterated on in-house by Virginia Tech, though they are not releasing all of the data on it publicly. Their goal in this is to lessen the burden on admissions officers and to return decisions to students faster; they had to read 500,000 essays last year, and as application numbers continue to rise, they are looking for ways to streamline the process. 

One thing they make clear is that all essays will still be reviewed by humans, and that humans, and not this system, will have final say in how these essays are scored. This new system is intended to serve as a tool first and foremost, something to help admissions officers in their work, rather than replacing them. This is something we understand, though its efficacy remains to be seen. 

How Virginia Tech Reviews Applicants

We are going to dive a little deeper into how Virginia Tech reviews applicants, since they do look at more than the essays. Compared to some schools, which major you are applying for is extremely important at Virginia Tech, and changes everything from how competitive your applicant pool is to how they weight different portions of your application, including the essays. 

Academic preparation is always most important, and essays after that, though some majors and programs put far more importance on essays than others. Virginia Tech unfortunately does not offer a granular breakdown of which majors care about which application pieces. 

Finally, Virginia Tech does not ask for the personal statement on the Common App, but instead has four supplemental essay prompts they ask students to answer instead. It is these essays that are going to face the new AI review. 

Are Other Universities Going to Use AI Tools Like This?

At some point, almost certainly. When and how, however, are more open questions. Virginia Tech was facing two related problems in dealing with their admissions that they thought this tool could help them solve: 

1. They are receiving such a high volume of applications compared to previous years that itā€™s taking admissions officers much longer to review them all.
2. Because of how long it takes to review applications, by the time decisions go out, many students that Virginia Tech wanted to attend have already committed to other schools.

While Virginia Tech may be feeling these particular problems more acutely than many of their peers, these are hardly unique circumstances. A great many colleges are seeing similar spikes in application numbers, and admissions officers are being stretched ever thinner to get decisions out in a timely manner. That said, there are likely a few approaches colleges will take to implementing AI review. 

As Counter-AI Tools

One change most every college has made this admissions cycle is new policies stating that students should not use AI tools to generate their essays. There are several ways to check for AI usage, from reader intuition all the way to dedicated tools. As AI use becomes increasingly prevalent, we anticipate more and more colleges will begin using automatic detection software to flag AI use in essays. 

Now, these tools have many problems, and flagged essays should still be subject to human review. But as a simple tool; we understand why colleges would use it.

Following Virginia Techā€™s Lead

Virginia Tech is the first, and we anticipate a lot of schools are going to watch and see how this goes for them. If it works well, then we anticipate schools that consider themselves to be peers with Virginia Tech to begin experimenting with similar programs. Not all will decide to go through with them of course, but all of these schools are facing similar pressures, and if Virginia Tech has found a solution that works, then other universities will take note. 

No AI Use At All

We anticipate that some schools wonā€™t implement AI use for review at all, particularly among the most competitive schools, the Ivy League and their peers. These schools do get an incredible number of applications, but they also have the resources to hire admissions officers to deal with it. Just as they now emphasize holistic review, we anticipate having all applications reviewed by humans alone to become a selling point. 

Finally, we do not anticipate any universities, or at least not accredited ones, to use AI without human oversight to review essays. These tools, while useful, are still tools, and need human correction often. 

How Does This Impact You?

Currently, very little, unless you are planning on applying to Virginia Tech this year. As AI tools grow more common, however, we anticipate a more widespread adoption of them for this use. In those cases, there is still likely to be little change for students; the colleges that care heavily about essays still will, and what they are looking for from students is unlikely to change. 

The biggest question is how these tools will score essays, and how they will compare to a human reader. More varied and unconventional essay structures may trip these programs up, but without being able to test these systems, we canā€™t say for sure. There are hazards here, that these tools may introduce some unforeseen quirk or bias into how admissions decisions are made, though human oversight should be able to correct that.

Overall, we recommend making sure your own essays are as well written and polished as possible, and written by human hands alone, without AI involvement. While these are useful tools, colleges are cracking down on their use in applications ever harder, and you donā€™t want to do anything that will jeopardize your chances of acceptance.

Final Thoughts

College applications change with the changing times. No more are applications filled out by hand and sent in by mail. Just as the digital age transformed applications, so too do these new AI tools seem to have the potential to do the same. Whether or not Virginia Tech is a pioneer or this experiment fails, we, along with many other colleges and students, will be watching with interest. 

We hope this article has given you a good sense of what Virginia Tech is doing and why, and how this new inclusion of AI tools in admissions may impact you. Even as these tools become more prevalent, writing excellent essays remains one of the best ways to impress colleges and increase your chances of admission. If you want to learn more, or gain help from experts to craft your own essays, then schedule a free consultation with us today; weā€™re always happy to hear from you.

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What are Cover Letters anyway?

Cover letters are a component of many job applications, and can also be referred to as introductory letters or letters of motivation. Their purpose is to introduce applicants to employers, so they can better understand who you are and why you want the job you are applying to. 

Traditionally, cover letters fulfilled the following purposes: 

• Giving more insight into relevant experience you have. Your resume covers everything youā€™ve done, but the cover letter has space to give full context to how those skills will work for the desired role.
• Explaining why you want a particular job, and what attracts you to this career.Ā 
• Giving more context to anything in your resume or otherwise that employers may need to know, such as additional skills you have.Ā 

In addition, many jobs currently use cover letters as a basic test of competency and fluency in language, seeing if you can use words to make your point clearly and succinctly. There is also a trend of using cover letters to prescreen applicants; eliminating those from applying who are unwilling to do the work of writing a cover letter in the first place.

Many companies are also using automated tools to screen applicants for their suitability for positions; reviewing both resumes and cover letters before a human does. This is due to the high volume of applicants some jobs receive.

Generally, however, high school students donā€™t need to worry about this. Most jobs you will be applying to will not ask for cover letters; Burger King knows you arenā€™t particularly passionate about hamburgers, they just care that youā€™ll show up on time and not burn the building down. 

There are some occasions where you will need cover letters however, namely when applying to internships. In many ways, the experience of having to write a cover letter is part of the experience of the internship; teaching you how to apply for a job much as the internship itself teaches you about the mechanics of a particular field. While not all positions you apply to as a high school student will want cover letters, there are a significant number that will.

How to Write a Cover Letter

The best way to explain how to write a cover letter is to give you an example letter, and then to explain what it does well. To that end, here is a letter written by a past ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų student seeking to apply to an internship. Note that we have edited this letter somewhat to anonymize it.

Example Cover Letter

Dear [Employer],

I am writing to express my keen interest in an internship position with you, which I view as an early-stage leader in leveraging deep learning for the biomechanics of athletes. As a sophomore at Generic High School, I have been steering my academic and extracurricular pursuits towards a future in sports medicine, driven by my fascination with human physiology and kinesiology, and their applications in improving athletic performance and injury prevention.

My passion for the biomechanics of sports is not limited to theoretical knowledge. As an avid tennis player, I struggled with correcting my own form and can empathize with the vast majority of your target customer demographic. This shared perspective enables me to provide potential insights to further enhance the value proposition and identify additional market opportunities. In particular, I have been intrigued by how understanding biomechanics is pivotal for athletes. This led me to continually analyze and optimize me and my teammatesā€™ movements, a practice that aligns closely with your mission to transform sports training through innovative solutions.

My previous experiences, such as my role as an Operations Researcher at Generic High School DECA, have equipped me with skills in research, data analysis, and strategic problem-solving. Specifically, my work on inducing genetic mutations in bacteria colonies and enhancing operations efficiency at a veterans clinic demonstrates my capability to contribute effectively to diverse areas of work, including Research & Development and new product development.

I am particularly excited about the opportunity to work in a company that is at the forefront of integrating AI with sports science. My hands-on experience in tennis and my academic interest in sports medicine provide me with a unique perspective that aligns with your mission to enhance education for athletes and coaches.

Thank you for considering my application. I am eager to bring my diverse skill set to your lab and contribute to your innovative projects. I have attached my CV, and very much look forward to the opportunity to discuss how my background, skills, and interests align with the needs of your team.

Sincerely,

John Doe

Cover Letter Analysis

This cover letter does a lot of things right, so letā€™s go through it step by step to look at what it does, and why itā€™s effective. First, it gets right to the point. This is not a standard letter where you spend time on pleasantries first; that is not expected nor necessary. Instead, begin by saying what position you want, and then introducing yourself. Since you are a high school student, this introduction should invariably feature where you are attending school, and what grade you are in. 

If you are applying to an internship involving a particular field, you should highlight any coursework you have taken which relates to that field. This is not always possible, especially early in high school. 

Your next paragraph should discuss your interest in the field of the internship; why are you interested in this particular subject, and what past experience do you have with it. This can relate to personal experience as the letter above does, or tie in to past learning experiences or classes you have taken, or to your future career goals. Whatever your motivations are, you should express them clearly and concisely. 

Follow this up by providing more details about past experiences you have which give you needed skills for the field. These can either be directly related, where you have had positions before doing what this internship requires, or tangentially related. In the letter above, for example, the student writes about how their past experiences have given them the soft and hard skills the internship requires, even if the work is not exactly the same. 

Depending on the number of things you have done which are relevant, this could be done in a single or multiple paragraphs. Give each the space it needs to explain the skills you acquired and how they are relevant, but donā€™t get caught up in the weeds or provide extraneous details. 

A brief paragraph near the end should explain what draws you to this opportunity in particular. What about it suits your specific interests, and how will it further your future ambitions? Connect this with how your past experiences have prepared you, and you can aptly demonstrate that you and the position are a perfect match. 

Conclude your letter by reiterating your interest in the position, and giving any other needed information. You donā€™t want to heap effusive praise on the potential employer, but do want to show sincere enthusiasm for the opportunity on offer.Ā 

Cover Letters FAQ

So weā€™ve covered most of what you need to know about writing a cover letter, but some questions come up a lot. Hereā€™s the most common questions we get from students about writing their own cover letters, and the answers to them.

How long should a cover letter be?

Around a page, depending on how much you have to say. It shouldnā€™t be shorter than half a page, but should also not be longer than a full page. Writing too much often leads to getting into unnecessary detail, while too little doesnā€™t convey needed information about your experience. 

How should you format a cover letter?

Use a professional font (not Comic Sans, definitely not WIngdings), standard 1-inch margins, and 1.5 or 1.15 spacing. The letter itself should be broken up into paragraphs by subject, each of those should be a few sentences in length. Begin and end as a standard letter. 

Can you reuse cover letters?

Yes, to an extent. You cannot reuse a cover letter exactly, but usually some minor edits can make a cover letter for one position fit for another. Note that this only works if the positions are similar; for example if you are applying to multiple internships in robotics, you can reuse the same cover letter multiple times. If you are applying for one robotics internship and one internship in theatre, then you will need to rewrite the cover letter entirely. 

Be very careful when reusing a cover letter that you do not accidentally call one company by another companyā€™s name. This shows carelessness, and usually gets your application discarded offhand. 

Do cover letters actually matter?

For some jobs and internships, yes, they matter a lot. They are how employers judge your experience and fit for a particular role, and let them see what you will bring to the position if it is given to you.Ā 

Final Thoughts

Cover letters are not a common thing to need in high school, but they are becoming increasingly prevalent, especially as students seek to apply to ever more internships and opportunities to prepare themselves for college. We hope this article has shown you what a well constructed cover letter looks like, and given you practical tips for writing one yourself.

Before you write a cover letter however, you first must find a job or internship worth your time, one that will teach you important skills and give you enticing opportunities. If you want help finding just such an internship, or drafting and revising your cover letter, schedule a free consultation today to learn how we can help you. We have years of experience helping high school students find the perfect opportunities for them, and are always happy to hear from you.

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In this article, weā€™re going to explore how colleges are doing this, and why they care about the use of AI in essays. Weā€™re going to look at whether there are any ways to use AI in your writing process, and finally give a few tips on creating the kinds of essays admissions officers do want to see. Letā€™s get started!

How Admissions Officers Know if You Use AI

This varies by school. As with every aspect of the admissions process, each school handles things differently. There are, however, two general ways colleges detect these: 

• Plagiarism checkers
• Personal insight

The first method is the most straightforward. Many plagiarism detection tools now also include a feature that assesses whether or not a composition is AI generated. These are not foolproof of course; they miss some AI generated content and produce false positives on occasion, but they are still quite good on the whole at detecting the use of AI. This is an arms race between them and the generating companies of course, but essays that are flagged for being primarily written by AI will be marked down. 

The other method colleges use is the personal insight of admissions officers. This is quite straightforward; admissions officers read thousands of essays each year, and are extremely familiar with how high school students think and write. They are then able to use this expertise to notice when prose feels off in a way that is unnatural, as if it wasnā€™t written by a student. AI generated writing itself has a number of tells, especially if you encounter it often. Again, this is not a foolproof method, but essays suspected of using AI will be marked harshly for it. 

What impacts exactly this has will depend on college. Some schools will automatically reject applications they believe used AI, others will just have it as a major mark against them. Since essays are such an important part of the admissions process, a major penalty here is often the same as a rejection. Admissions officers will likely not catch every student who uses AI, but those who do are taking a major risk for their chances of acceptance, often without even knowing it. 

Why Colleges Care ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų AI

Colleges clearly care about whether or not applicants are using AI in their application, but why? There are two main concerns admissions officers have. Now, we generally advocate for students to do all the work themselves, but colleges do have some legitimate reasons to want you to do this work yourself, rather than outsourcing it. 

The first reason is that colleges are trying to get to know you through your essays. They want to understand how you think about the world, and your place in it. For this, they need to hear from you in your own words, to get inside your thought process and view things from your perspective. The use of AI precludes this; they arenā€™t hearing your words and thoughts, but a generalized abstraction of them created by another entity, one without your unique insights. 

The second reason is that college requires a lot of writing, and has high standards for academic honesty. With the rise of easily available generative AI, most colleges have rolled out policies stating whether or not students are allowed to use it in their coursework, and under what conditions. These vary slightly, but the general consensus is that students are not permitted to use AI to do their coursework for them. 

If colleges have this as a standard for their current students, then theyā€™re definitely going to apply the same standards to those students who are trying to join their student body. This makes sense logically, but can still catch high school students off guard, as they are generally unfamiliar with the AI policies of universities. 

Thus, if you use AI in your essays, you are hurting your chances twice over from the perspective of colleges. First, they donā€™t know what insights and thoughts are yours, and which are of the AI. Colleges want to know you and your voice, to see how you will fit with them, and they canā€™t do that if writing is not your own. Second, if you violate a college’s academic honesty policy on your application, thatā€™s a major red flag. Current students who violate these can face suspension or expulsion, so prospective students who do so are simply not admitted at all. 

Can AI be Used in College Applications?

So AI pretty clearly should not be used to write your essays. That said, this is a tool many students are coming to rely on, so is there any place for it in crafting a college application?

In general, the answer is going to be no. AI does have uses, but many of its strengths work against it in the admissions process, while its cons come more clearly to the fore. Weā€™ll go through this point by point, to discuss how AI can be used, and where it probably shouldnā€™t. 

Research

Many people now turn to ChatGPT and other AI tools to do research. Indeed, Google even encourages this with its own in-built AI system. The issue with this is that the answers you get are not always accurate. AI tools can pull from old data, or hallucinate something that sounds plausible, but which doesnā€™t actually exist. 

This can be a problem when researching colleges, as AI may describe to you a program which doesnā€™t exist alongside one that does, or mention scholarships that have been cancelled, or give you incorrect details. The point of researching colleges is to determine whether or not they are a good fit for you, and to do that, you need an accurate picture of what they offer to students. AI, unfortunately, canā€™t guarantee being able to do that yet. 

Writing

As we discussed above, AI is not a good tool to help with writing either. You may be able to find some use in getting help brainstorming or structuring your essays, but here too there are some drawbacks. In brainstorming, an AI is not able to differentiate a good idea from a bad one; many of them are programmed to be agreeable, so will go with whatever you think. This can be good to play off of, but doesnā€™t offer legitimate critique for a brainstorming process. 

The one place an AI can help is in determining a structure for an essay. It canā€™t write it for you, but it can help you order your ideas. We do want to urge caution here; many AI tools have been trained on vast swathes of mediocre college essays, and this shows when you ask one to generate an essay for you. These have repetitive ideas, generic examples, and lots of flowery phrases that sound quite good without ever actually meaning anything. Even if admissions officers donā€™t detect that these are AI, they just arenā€™t very good as essays.

For editing, we advise not using AI. Many students are surprised to learn this, but getting editing help from one of these programs often counts as academic dishonesty, and will frequently ping plagiarism checkers. Working with mentors, teachers, or your fellow students to edit your essays is a far safer approach.

Other Application Components

An Ai tool is possibly useful to help you reduce character count for activities list items, but here too it is unlikely to know the best approach, or which details should be included and which can be safely cut. We recommend working with a mentor on this. 

Your additional information section, if you need one, should be treated as an essay, and written by you alone. Again, this is a palace to give colleges key details about you and your context, details that an AI doesnā€™t know. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can write this section.

Final Thoughts

Generative AI is an amazing tool, and is capable of a great many things. As with every tool, however, it is not right for every situation; just as you cannot build a house with a hammer alone, so too does AI have situations where it is not the correct tool for the job. College applications are one such arena, and we hope this article has helped you understand why this is, and the potential pitfalls of misapplying such a powerful tool. 
We do understand why students turn to AI of course. College applications are stressful, and take a lot of work; so many forms, so many essays, all coming on top of the schoolwork and activities you already have in your life. Any way to ease the load is seen as a wonderful thing. There is, however, a better way. ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų works with students every year on the college admissions process, striving to make their lives easier. We have a well-worked system that lets you apply efficiently, and have seen great success helping students get into their top choice colleges. Schedule a free consultation today to learn how we can make your life easier.

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These children have a tendency to write a certain kind of essay when applying to college, what we will call here a third culture kid essay. While these essays are very well written, and often detail experiences unique to the student, they are inevitably interchangeable with every other third culture kid essay. 

Here, we will explore what these essays are, and why they donā€™t work as expected for college admissions. We will also discuss some alternative essay topics to explore, which are able to highlight a studentā€™s experiences in a more unique way. 

What is a Third Culture Kid Essay?

These essays discuss a studentā€™s adaptability, their perpetual new-kid status, and how theyā€™ve learned and grown from the multitude of schools and experiences theyā€™ve had throughout childhood. These experiences have made them mature, and given them a global perspective. Now, they call the US home, and are eager to bring their worldly views to the college they are writing to. 

While these experiences are rare from an overall sampling of the population, essays written about them tend to become incredibly similar. Here are three essays written by three students, anonymized to protect their privacy. Each is a supplemental essay written for a different school, yet each essay reads remarkably similarly, despite the high quality of the prose: 

Example 1

I am a perpetual “new kid.” I’ve moved nine times, visited more than twenty countries and been educated in seven vastly different cultures, languages and school systems. My parents worried that the chaos of constant transitions would impede my education, but they couldnā€™t have been more wrong.

Being an international student forced me to overcome social barriers by adapting to people of different cultures and engaging them on their own terms. I did everything from learning about Hafla etiquette during a cultural exchange with Bedouins in the UAE to studying wildlife in Fevik, Norway alongside local zoologists. My exposure has done more than acculturate me; the struggle to understand different preferences and mindsets has taught me how to work with people from across the globe.

I thrive in the chaos of reconciling different cultural mores and belief systems. My struggles with language barriers, faux pas, and cultural impasses have made me immune to first-day jitters. My best education happens outside the classroom. Iā€™ve not only learned to answer correctly on tests and express myself in essays; I have insight into people. I know that when I go to Tufts, I’ll be able to excel precisely because I know what it means to be new, to not belong, to adapt. I live for that.

Example 2

Iā€™ve grown up internationally and feel fortunate to have called eleven countries ā€œhomeā€. One of the major benefits of this itinerant upbringing has been my degree of adaptability; after every move, I adapted to the new school system, new langage, new friends, new homes, and new challenges.

For a long time, however, even though I only lived a short period of time in my ancestral nation of Turkey, I always felt that was where I truly belonged. When I closed my eyes to fall asleep, I would imagine myself back in Turkey, walking home after school to be greeted by grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

Ten countries later (and having discovered the magic of ordering Turkish manti on DoorDash), however, Iā€™ve come to see things differently. When we moved to Houston during the middle of my seventh grade, it was again time for adaptation. Like in the other places we had lived, my parents put me in an international school hosting students from across the world. Going through the familiar motions of learning a new building, new teachers, and new classmates–from Vietnam, Nigeria, and everywhere else, as usual–a realization dawned on me. No matter where I was, the place where I could most easily slip into old routines and learn new ones was school. School was home.  

Iā€™m confident that the insights and habits Iā€™ve developed from my extensive movements from school to school across the globe will translate to a smooth transition into the campus environment. Whereas for others, college might be the very first time uprooting themselves from ā€œhomeā€ and interacting with many different types of people, this is already second nature to me–I am situated to hit the ground running and make the absolute most of the resources on campus and my time in college.

During my campus visit to Johns Hopkins, it was easy to imagine myself playing my trumpet in the Hopkins Pep Band and, more importantly, working in the Richard A. Swirnow Computer-Integrated Surgical and Interventional Systems Mock Operation Room in Hackerman Hall on a computational medicine project. With Professor Sridevi Sarma as my advisor and a cohort of teammates working at my side, I would be on the frontlines of the fight against Parkinsonā€™s, fully supported by and acclimated to my new academic home. I am ready to join BME 2.0 and pursue deeper knowledge in biomedical engineering at Johns Hopkins.

Example 3

Iā€™ve left my tracks on the soil of many countries and territories–from my native Thailand to Australia, Singapore, Indonesia, Japan, and even far-off New Jersey. Itā€™s the United States, however, where I not only left my footprints but planted both feet firmly on the ground.  Unlike other countries Iā€™d visited, my first journey to the US in 2018 was not for vacation but to stay.

Moving across the ocean, straight to a new continent on the opposite side of the world from Thailand was a life-changing and exciting experience. Beginning a life with a new family was terrifying, but I could not pass up the opportunity or let my family down.  

Imagine my surprise when I first learned that my new home in Fort Bend County was one of the most diverse counties in the entire country.  I was surrounded by people who were visibly diverse, with people of many races. However, it was when I attended high school that I learned that the diversity was much richer, including people with different religions and unexpected life experiences and family situations.  I even made friends with people from nations I had never even heard of before.  

As someone who has lived in different countries and has a racially and religiously mixed family, I feel that Iā€™m well on my way to becoming a true global citizen, able to adapt to many different circumstances. Iā€™ve learned that I thrive in inclusive environments that are accepting of everyone.  At Texas A&M, I am eager to continue contributing diversity of thought and experiences to the learning environment both in and out of the classroom. With the support from others on campus, together we can create a welcoming and nurturing academic environment which will help all of us thrive in complex global settings.

Analyzing These Essays

Despite these essays detailing what should be very different experiences and growth processes, they all read almost the same, and leave the exact same impression on the reader. They do set the student apart from a standard applicant, but do nothing to set these students apart from the hundreds of other students with similar childhood experiences. 

Each essay follows the following basic structure:

• Begin by describing how theyā€™re a perpetual stranger in a strange land, and mention how many places theyā€™ve lived in a short time.
• A brief sampler of some of their experiences, often culminating with them coming to the US.
• An explanation of how these experiences helped them grow as a person, and gave them skills like adaptability and worldliness.
• A desire to apply these skills at the university they are writing the essay for.Ā 

These essays do everything a standard college essay should do; they introduce what makes a student unique, and what viewpoints and talents they will bring to college. However, much like overdone essays about athletic prowess or volunteering abroad, the utility of these essays is diluted by their ubiquity. 

If admissions officers received a single essay about third culture kids, then it would work well. Instead, they receive hundreds or thousands, which blur together. This is compounded by how colleges review essays. Applications are reviewed by geographic region, and states like Texas, with its rich oil and gas production, produce a great number of third culture kids, and the essays with them. 

What Makes a College Essay Work

College essays work when they stick in the minds of readers, and make them passionate about a student, allowing them to see how that student will thrive on a particular college campus. Admissions officers argue in favor of every student admitted, and the goal we have when writing essays is to make it easy to argue that our students belong at college. 

A successful college essay canā€™t be too similar or cliche, or it runs the risk of being easily forgettable. All essays will use cliches and have tropes to a certain extent; there are very few truly unique experiences. A successful essay discusses a common experience or trope in an uncommon way, allowing readers to view students from a unique angle.

Finally, a good college essay exemplifies a studentā€™s values. These too should be unique, or at least somewhat so. Each essay has values which are cliche, like an athlete learning the power of perseverance, or a traveler learning maturity and the importance of diverse viewpoints. A good essay connects more uncommon values to an otherwise common or cliched experience. This also helps it stand out in the minds of admissions officers, and sets it apart from the mass of essays they must read.

What to Write ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų Instead

This may seem grim, but the same experiences which often lead to a cliche essay can also produce truly stellar ones. The trick is in presentation, and how you introduce and approach your unique upbringing and experiences. Just as with sports essays, they can work, you just have to take a non-standard approach.

We recommend focusing on a single experience, rather than taking a survey of your experiences. A blend of things often reverts to a montage by necessity, while a single experience provides concrete details which are more likely to be unique to that student. 

Traces of this can be seen in the essays above. As the students briefly run through their experiences in foreign lands, you can see tantalizing details of what these essays could have been about. The mention of cultural exchange with the Bedouins in the first, or buying manti on DoorDash in the second both provide windows into unique experiences that these students had. Instead of elaborating on them further, however, they brush past, leaving behind essays that might have been. 

Thus, a great essay can come from these experiences by writing about a single unique experience the student had, and exploring which values it instilled in them. Perhaps the student above learned the value of rest from the Bedouin, or how hospitality, properly applied, can shape a whole relationship. This is an uncommon essay, and allows the student to relate an experience most are not able to speak to.

In this way, the studentā€™s essay sticks better in the mind of the reader, and does not get lost in the shuffle. The experiences students have as third culture children are often still valuable to the college essay writing process; they just need to be approached from the correct viewpoint.

All students are capable of writing great essays, third culture children are no different. They have an unforeseen pitfall they must look out for, but if they manage to avoid falling into the trap of cliche, their essays can be very strong. As with all essays, topic is key.

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To this end, the activities list exists, in various forms across different college applications. In this article, weā€™re going to explain how these lists work, and how you can best tell colleges about the activities you have participated in. For more information on the kinds of activities colleges like to see, see our article on the subject here; in this one we are going to focus on how to tell colleges all about what you have achieved. Letā€™s get started!

Figuring Out Your Activities

The first step to writing an activities list is figuring out which activities youā€™ve done. This can be harder than it sounds at first, especially for things you did early in high school, or for things which only lasted a week. Draw up a full list of these, and then consider asking your parents or another family member if they can remember other things you participated in, to help jog your memory. 

This, of course, leads to an important question: what counts as an activity? This is actually a more expansive category than most students realize; here are the things colleges consider activities, and want to hear about if youā€™ve participated in:

• School activities. From clubs to team sports to the play, if it happens at school but isnā€™t one of your classes, then it counts as an activity.
• Sports. Whether done through school or otherwise; for information on getting recruited for sports specifically, see our article here.
• Volunteering. Even if youā€™re only doing it to fulfill a graduation requirement, this counts as an activity.
• Other organized clubs. Even if they arenā€™t associated with your school at all, they still count.
• Work and Internships. From working at a restaurant to babysitting, doing work counts as an activity.
• Family obligations. If you have to devote significant amounts of time to helping around the house, from cooking to caring for siblings, that also counts as an activity.Ā 

Your first step is writing all of these down, so you get a sense of how much you have accomplished. Once thatā€™s done, itā€™s time to figure out what story your activities tell. 

Organizing Your Activities

How many activities youā€™re able to talk about depends on the application. The Common App allows for ten, along with five honors. This is enough (often more than enough) for most students. If you have more than ten meaningful activities, you can cover any leftovers in your additional information section, see advice for doing so in our article here. 

Do not worry if you canā€™t fill every space on your activities list; colleges donā€™t expect you to, and you wonā€™t be judged harshly for it. What they do judge and evaluate is what your activities say about you; who you are as a student and person, and where your priorities lie. Thus your job with your activities list is to tell the story of who you are. 

Begin by determining what categories your activities fall into by interest. For example, you may have a bunch of activities related to robotics, or a significant number involving basketball. What these categories are depends on you, but you should group similar activities together on your list. Reading about four different things you have done involving biology in a row is far more impactful than having them scattered about. 

This should also be done in grouping activities by type. If, for example, youā€™ve done a whole bunch of different volunteering activities, you should put them next to each other. Within each group, put the most important and impactful activity at the top, and then continue down. The most impactful ones are usually, but not always, the ones you have devoted the most of your time to. 

Finally, if you have a few too many activities, you can move some to the honors list. A very common one for this is National Honors Society. This is an impressive accomplishment, but unless you are incredibly active in the society itself at your school, it can be safely moved to the Honors section, to leave more room in your activities list to discuss other things you have done. 

Actually Writing the Activities List

First, you need to figure out what exactly you did for each of your activities. Begin by writing down a list of everything you accomplished. Try to use accurate numbers wherever possible. If you raised money for charity, how much did you get? If you ran an organization, how many members did you oversee? Details like this are important, because they let admissions officers put your accomplishments in context. 

How to write about your activities varies by application; weā€™ll describe how to do it for the Common App here, and then discuss altering it for other application portals below. The most important thing to be aware of is length; the Common App only allows you 150 characters for each activity description. 

This means that your activity descriptions are written unlike anything else, including essays. You want to cram in a lot of detail while still being coherent. This means that these entries often lack things like proper grammar, and often use abbreviations. Here is an example of what one of these looks like: 

President, Applied Chemistry Society, ā€˜23-24

Set agenda, raised $5000, directed experiments, coordinated with school/safety officials. Demonstrated before Junior-Senior classes (500 people)

This isnā€™t a proper sentence, and an English teacher would look askance at it if you used it in an essay, but it does do everything an activities list is supposed to do. It lets readers know what you did, how you did it, and when you did it. 

Finally, note that you should not repeat any information from the name of the activity in the title. If the title was ā€œStudent Body Presidentā€ then you donā€™t need to open your description by saying ā€œAs Presidentā€ you can simply jump right into discussing what you actually did in the role. 

A note on Acronyms

Using acronyms to save space on activities lists is quite common, and we recommend doing it. You have to be careful though, as admissions officers are not omniscient, nad may not know every acronym you use. We advise only using widely known acronyms, in both your activity titles, and the description. 

For example, MIT is a widely known acronym, and if you attended one of their summer programs, you can simply refer to the school as MIT. If you participated in the Youth American Grand Prix, then you canā€™t assume people will know what you mean if you abbreviate to YAGP, even if that is commonly done in the ballet community. 

There is some need for your own judgement here, but we recommend being cautious when you arenā€™t sure. 

Apply Californiaā€™s Activity List

The most used application, after the Common App, is Apply California, which is used for the entire UC system. In contrast to the Common Application, the Apply California application allows for 20 activities and awards combined, in the following categories: Awards, Educational Preparation, Extracurricular, Volunteering, and Work.

• Awards and Honors provides 250 characters to describe the criteria for winning the award, and 350 characters to describe how you won the award.
• Educational Preparation and Extracurriculars both provide 60 characters for a title, and 350 for a description.
• Volunteering and Work give 60 characters for the name of the organization, 250 to describe the organization itself, and 350 to describe your contribution.

However, just because you have additional space for the word count doesnā€™t mean you have to fill the entire description. At the same time, though, you should avoid simply copying directly from the Common App without adding any more detail and information. Merely copying and pasting descriptions from one form to the other will stand out to UC schools, suggesting to them that you didnā€™t put as much effort into applying as you could have.

Here is the same Common App entry from above followed by an expanded entry for the UC application.

UC entry:

President, Applied Chemistry Society, ā€˜18-19

Set meeting agendas, planned the year’s activities, directed chemistry experiments researching pollutants in freshwater sources, and raised $5,000 through community sponsorship. Coordinated with school leaders and the fire department for safety during experiment demonstrations held before 500 students in the Junior and Senior classes.

As you can see, the overall activity description isnā€™t much longer than the Common App, but nevertheless contains more information that gives greater context for what the student accomplished.

Some ways to expand this section include the following:

If an activity was extensive enough to go into the additional information section on the Common App, then this can all be added back into the description for UC application.

More detail and examples should be provided for each activity. Rather than repeating yourself, though, use the extra space to go into more depth. In the above example, the author adds how much money was raised during fundraising efforts, giving concrete evidence of their accomplishments. This gives the readers a better sense of the scale of their accomplishments.

Each activity should be expanded, giving more examples of your involvement. In the example above, further active verbs were included and more details of their involvement provided. The added depth gives insight into what they actually accomplished, offering a more complete picture of their involvement.

Finally, you can and should use proper grammar in the UC Application. Thereā€™s enough space for it, and it will make your application look more thoughtful.

A Note on UC Activity Categories

The UC application requires that each entry be grouped into a category. This allows you to present yourself in an organized manner. Below are descriptions of these categories and what activities should be placed under them. This built in categorization allows you to show either in-depth commitment to a single activity or wide and varied interests. 

Description of categories

Award or honor: This category is a direct parallel to the honors section in the Common App. The honors you list there can be brought over with the same expansions which were applied to other activities.

Example: 

Educational preparation programs: This category describes programs you participated in that were academic or educational, but which occurred outside of a standard school environment.

Example: 

Extracurricular activity: These are the activities youā€™ve participated in outside the classroom that donā€™t fit better in one of the other categories. They include hobbies, sports, clubs, and everything else you participated in outside the classroom.

Example: 

Volunteering / Community service: These are activities youā€™ve participated in to help your community, regardless of financial compensation. 

Example: 

Work experience: This area is for activities in employment or internships, either paid or unpaid. Jobs you have had, or internships youā€™ve participated in, go here. 

Example: 

Final Thoughts

Writing your activities list shouldnā€™t need to be a daunting task, but colleges rarely clearly explain what they want, leaving students to struggle through on their own. This is just another stressor, in the middle of an already stressful time. We hope that this article has given you clear insight into how an activities list works, and how you should go about composing your own.

Of course, this is just one small aspect of college applications. If you are looking for further advice and guidance, and want to talk to an expert, reach out today to schedule a free consultation. Weā€™ve helped hundreds of students get into amazing colleges, and are always happy to hear from you.

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Of course, these programs generally have their own admissions requirements, over and above those of the colleges they are attached to. Generally, these include additional essays you must write, and it is these we are going to focus on today. You see, the prompts used by honors colleges tend to be far removed from those you normally see in college applications, which often leaves students uncertain how to approach them. In this article weā€™ll cover the kinds of questions they ask, why they ask them, and how you can write excellent honors college essays. Letā€™s get started!

What Questions do Honors Colleges Ask?

This is the heart of the problem. Colleges generally only have a few different essay prompts that they use over and over (we cover this in more detail here), and these tend to be fairly straightforward in what theyā€™re looking for. There are some exceptions of course, but most college essays you write follow standard forms. 

This is not the case for honors colleges. There are some prompts they have in common, but others are more creative. Here are some sample essays requested by various honors colleges and programs:

• Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve ā€“ anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. Your essay must be between 500 and 700 words. It will be evaluated on a combination of style, grammar, imagination, and substance. (Ole Miss)
• New technologies perennially occasion both optimism and anxiety on the part of their human developers. Although the idea of artificial intelligence has speculative precursors extending back to antiquity, the coining of the term in the mid 1950s and the emergence of the field of research attached to it has produced spirited rumination about its impact on humanity. Taking into consideration the range of different attitudes toward artificial intelligence you’ve encountered, how do you think AI will impact the specific futureā€“personal, social, professionalā€“you’ve imagined for yourself? (University of Alabama)
• One of our values is Empowered Growth. What values, beliefs or experiences have empowered you to grow intellectually and/or personally? (Penn State)

This is a small sample, but gives a sense of the breadth of these questions. Note that not every program has essay requirements like these; some simply evaluate students for honors programs using their standard application. Those that do ask for essays, however, often ask questions such as these. 

Why do Honors Colleges Ask Weird Essay Questions?

In general, honors colleges are looking for particular kinds of students. What exactly theyā€™re looking for varies a fair amount from school to school and program to program, There are certain commonalities however. In general they want students who are smart, curious, and who are looking to explore intellectually. You may notice these are the exact same things top tier colleges are looking for in students; this isnā€™t an accident. 

Honors colleges often compete with top tier universities for the same pool of students, and look to set themselves apart through their identity and their willingness to award significant merit-based scholarships (which the Ivy League does not). Part of the reason for these essay questions is to find students who enjoy this kind of mental work, and make them realize that honors colleges may be the right place for them. 

Next, honors colleges want to make sure you will fit in with the atmosphere they are trying to create. If you donā€™t like writing essays like this, then you probably wonā€™t enjoy their other offerings either. This is especially the case for schools which ask the most outlandish questions. This is akin to how UChicago asks their notoriously weird essay questions, for much the same reason. 

Finally, they want to see how you think and process information. Honors colleges are primarily academic, and they want to admit students capable of thinking and processing information at a high level. Unconventional essay questions are a great way to gain insight into your thought process. 

How to Write Honors Essays

Generally, writing an essay for an honors college is the same as any other college essay; you brainstorm ideas, work out an outline, and determine what youā€™re trying to say in your essay. The biggest challenge comes in responding to the prompts, which can often cause consternation. 

Here we have the same advice we give when discussing how to respond to UChicagoā€™s weird essay: answer the question, and show off your values while doing so. The point of these prompts is to give you room to show off, and to demonstrate how you think and approach problems. Answering them directly is often the best way to do this. 

In order to see what this looks like in practice, weā€™re going to share some honors college essays crafted by a past ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų student, who saw significant admissions success. Weā€™ll also analyze each, to show how and why they worked so well.

What question would you pose to prospective students on an application to explore their creativity and critical thinking skills and why? Now, answer your question. (Purdue)

I firmly believe that all prospective Boilermakers, regardless of background or major, should be asked the following question:

ā€œA malware character has infected your network. You must create a communication to alert the system. How would you proceed?ā€

This admittedly strange prompt is a simplified version of a problem from Odyssey of the Mind. Odyssey is a competition that stimulates creativity and spontaneity through theatrics and engineering. I began participating in Odyssey in 8th grade, hoping to quicken my wit and sharpen my tongue when put on the spot. As I learned to work with others to invent solutions for outlandish, previously non-existent problems, I began to see the world through a more colorful lens: I learned to imagine soon-to-be sunglasses from a bag of plastic spoons, or a beetle antennae out of used Keurig coffee cups. While the engineer in me has learned to value feasibility, Odysseyā€™s open-ended questions have taught me the opposite: prioritize creativity; feasibility can always follow.

Two years ago, the same malware problem stared at me at the Odyssey World Finals. Conferring with my teammates, I racked my brain. Computer virus? Predictable. A novel disease? Too obvious. Maybeā€¦ an orchid? A virus of the forest, stealing nutrients from other plants. With the forest network solidified, I next devised a communication path and a pop-up ad to block it. Throwing a cloth over a zipline was too simple; what about a butterfly? Many iterations later, our butterfly spread its wings over the pathway, thanks to a pulley-like salad-spinner.

At a time when the world is rife with problems that are deemed ā€œtoo complex to solve,ā€ our imaginations are shrinking. This is dooming, especially in engineering. If we avoid risk-taking ā€“ instead chasing feasibility, proven solutions, shareholder value, easy success ā€“ our world will stagnate. I say: letā€™s embrace failure. Take risks. We wouldā€™ve never invented the telephone if we never stopped using telegraphs. I think we can all benefit from challenging ourselves to dream bigger. So whether Iā€™m building an MRI machine out of dog food containers or designing a grandiose curved staircase, I first imagine the impossible before allowing my engineering brain to take over.

Analysis

This essay works quite well for a few reasons. First, it answers the question in an interesting way, posing a question that challenges the student while also revealing something about them. Second, when answering the question, the student is able to highlight one of their major activities, and what their participation therein taught them. 

This student was specifically applying to an honors program in engineering, and this essay was assigned for that. This is why their response is so engineering centric; even though the prompt itself does not mention engineering, it is still going to be read with that discipline in mind. In your own response, you should consider your audience for these essays, and what the main goals of the program you are applying to are. 

The final paragraph, where the student explains what they have learned and how these values relate to engineering, is key. Regardless of what you write about, you should demonstrate your specific skills and values, and show readers how they will help you within your chosen field. 

Finally, this is a very creative, somewhat oddball essay. This works well, because the prompts it is responding to is also somewhat odd. Do not be afraid of being creative and taking risks with honors college essays. They ask these strange prompts for a reason, and they appreciate seeing your thought process as you answer them in interesting ways. You still have to make sure you answer the question of course, but you can have some fun while doing so, and show off your skills as a writer and thinker. 

Example 2

Weā€™re going to include another example, because these essays are so varied, and we want to highlight some of that variety. 

Music has a way of offering us different perspectives on the world and ourselves. Choose a portion of a song or lyric and explain how it moves you and how it shows up in your life. (600) (UNC Chapel Hill)

6:45pm. I walk into my room, surrounded by silence for the first time since I left that morning. Iā€™d been working on designs for technical theatre for the past 4 hours, for the 4th day in a row. Mentally drained, I grab my guitar and sit atop my bed, turning the cool metal pegs until they are just right; the strings ring out, harmonious, soothing, and in tune. I press play on my laptop, and the familiar riff of A Day to Rememberā€™s ā€œHave Faith in Meā€ resumes.

ā€œHave faith in me.ā€ I strum my guitar, trying to match the pitch of the first chord. Not E. Not F. Six weeks earlier, I stood before the crew, ecstatic to be officially announced as the lead set designer of ā€œThe Addams Familyā€. But as time wore on, trouble arose from my crew of six rowdy boys. Like the discordant chords I was playing, they seemed uninterested in collaborating on the design, and I found myself spending long hours working alone. Should I use triangular or rectangular platforms? Are bolts or screws more stable? I longed for a discussion partner, but my texts went unanswered. I strum again. Not F#.

ā€œHave faith in me.ā€ I try the minor chords. Not F#m. Not Gm. Weeks passed, but despite night after night of 5-hour sessions rendering designs in SketchUp, I had nothing to show for it. My motivation plummeted, but my director urged me on, confident in my abilities. Not G#m. I move up; though my Am chord is shaky, it works.

ā€œHave faith in me.ā€ I move to the next chords, determined to capture the melodic tones under the drumbeat. I tried to delegate tasks, to no effect. My quiet voice was often drowned out by their loud antics; they seemed to want a leader who was more aggressive than them. Exhausted, I gave up on attempting to be an authoritarian, once again working alone on the set. As the deadline drew nearer, I felt the hopes and efforts of the entire company rested solely on my shoulders. I find the melody: Am, C, F, G; now to integrate a heavy strumming pattern.

ā€œHave faith in me.ā€ I count the beats as I test different patterns. Two weeks ago, I needed input, and the Addams house needed a staircase. Time to try a new approach. I cornered my crewmates, showing them two possible renderings for the grand staircase. After discussion, we unanimously agreed on the angled stairs. Now clear on our ideas, we began to construct, finally making physical progress after weeks of development. I find my favorite strumming combination: DDU UDU with palm mutes.

ā€œHave faith in me.ā€ I replay the song again, integrating the chords while playing the palm mutes. After our first collaboration, I strove to create an environment where suggestions were welcomed. For the first time, the drills whirled in harmony with my voice. Two weeks later, the central staircase rose from the stage, marking the future site of the gothic mansion. As my team stepped back from the finished staircase for the first time, I could feel our collective sigh. Our styles have blended into one sonorous song. I strum the last chord of the song, satisfied with the fusion of the melodic and the aggressive.

I place my guitar back in its case. My mind is clear, no longer overpowered by thoughts of theatre. As I zip the case, Iā€™m ready to get back to work. The show starts in two weeks. I have faith in us.

Analysis

This prompt is incredibly open, while being limited at the same time. You can write about almost anything, so long as you do so through the framing of music. This allows for a number of topics; in this case, the author chooses to explore one of her activities that shows how she learned leadership skills in an adverse scenario, while also showing off her passion for art and design. 

This is a long essay at 600 words, which allows for significant space to explore themes and details. Honors essays vary somewhat in length, much like regular supplemental essays; most are 200-500 words in length. 

In this example, the author uses music as a framing device to explore the struggles she had the first time she assumed a leadership position. The interplay of the discordant chords highlight her struggles; the song comes together on the guitar at the same time she finally gets her team in motion. 

This is a great way for the author to highlight how she spent a significant period of time, and also to explore her experience with leadership. Not every program will ask about things like leadership, or your devotion to community (though some definitely will), but they will appreciate hearing about your experiences with leadership or giving back to your community. This is true of all college programs; honors programs included. They will have access to your other supplemental essays however, so make sure you use novel examples. 

Finally, this essay does a good job of demonstrating growth and learning in the author, as she adapts to a situation that at first challenges and vexes her. SHowing this flexibility and resiliency in the face of a real challenge is excellent. You do not need to talk about overcoming a challenge in your own essays (especially if you donā€™t have one to talk about), but just as with your other college essays, it can be a great way to show off, and admissions officers love to see it.

Final Thoughts

Honors colleges offer a great many opportunities that students can take advantage of, and are an option we encourage many students to consider. Of course, these arenā€™t the right fit for everyone, but knowing they are an option, and what they can offer, can only increase your ability to choose the college thatā€™s right for you.

We hope this article has helped you understand what honors colleges are looking for in application essays, and given you some workable tips on how to craft your own application essays for these programs. Of course, writing the perfect essay isnā€™t easy, regardless of whether itā€™s for an honors program or your personal statement. If you want advice on writing your own honors essays, or any other help with your application process, schedule a free consultation with us today. We have a long experience helping students with every aspect of their applications, and are always happy to hear from you. 

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In this article weā€™re going to break down what admissions officers are really looking for in your personal statement, and the best way to give it to them. Weā€™ll cover brainstorming, writing, and editing your personal statement to make sure itā€™s the best piece of work possible. Letā€™s get started!

What Admissions Officers Want from your Personal Statement

Before we begin discussing how to write it, we thought it best to cover why admissions officers ask for a personal statement in the first place, since that will inform the rest of our strategy. What admissions officers want is to understand who you are, and what experiences have led you to be that person. They want to understand you.

This is simultaneously a simple and complicated thing to answer and describe. Being able to define yourself confidently is a problem for many adults, and the challenge is not reduced for high school students, whose view of themselves is often not fully solidified. 

The reason for this is that admissions officers need to get to know you. All they know about you is what you are able to tell them in your application materials. Your grades and test scores let them understand your academic potential. Your letters of recommendation tell them what kind of student you are, but it is the place of the personal statement to introduce you to them as a person. 

Admissions officers are looking for certain kinds of students to admit to their schools, ones who will contribute to campus. This search for understanding leads to the personal statement, and for some schools, the supplemental essay questions. 

How to Find a Topic for your Personal Statement

We have covered how to brainstorm before, but want to briefly cover picking a topic more generally. What you choose to write about for your personal statement is an odd proposition; simultaneously not terribly important and incredibly so. This seems contradictory, and it kind of is, but what we mean is this. The specific topic you choose can be anything, so long as you are able to use that topic to tell admissions officers about yourself. 

This can, and has, led to some wildly creative essays. A common mistake is then thinking you can copy the success of one of these essays by writing on the same theme. Admissions officers already saw that essay and admitted that student; having one, they donā€™t need another. Your topic should instead reflect you, and your own goals and values.

In service of this, we recommend thinking about the following:

• What values inform your life and decision making? How do you express them?
• Which of your experiences have shaped who you are, and how you see the world?
• How do you spend most of your free time? Why?
• What makes you, you?

We do recommend that if you talk about experiences or extracurriculars, you limit yourself to your time in high school. If you began an activity early and have continued it up to this day you can include such, but most students change a great deal during high school, so admissions officers may be uncertain how well your middle school experiences depict your current state. 

Finally, note that whatever you write about, admissions officers will have read an essay like it before. You do not need to come up with a truly original topic; instead you need to speak authentically to what you have done, how you see the world, and who you are as a person. This is what admissions officers care about. 

The Writing Process for your Personal Statement

Writing a personal statement is a process. You cannot just create a single draft and say youā€™re done. This does not mean you need to work on it forever, simply that you should make sure you have written the best essay you possibly can before submitting it. 

Writing begins with an outline in most cases. Take your idea, and lay out what you want to say about it. What core themes and experiences do you want to relate, and what did you learn from them? You should not use the five paragraph essay structure popularized by AP classes, but organizing your essay into paragraphs makes your thought process more coherent for your readers.

You are not bound to this structure, and may end up altering it significantly after creating a first draft, and seeing what works and what doesn’t. That said, having a scaffolding to build with makes the writing process smoother, and less daunting to pursue. An outline is especially helpful if your personal statement is not a single narrative, but instead a series of vignettes on a central theme. The outline here helps keep your ideas organized and focused.

With your outline completed, you can then compose a rough draft of your essay. Here is the advice we give to our students when they are composing their draft:

• Donā€™t worry too much about word count. We will later, but for this draft, try to keep it between 500 and 800 words.
• If youā€™re having trouble with the introduction, begin with the body paragraphs, then come back and write the beginning.
• You do not need to have a solid thesis yet, but should start thinking about it.Ā 

Once the draft is done, take a short break before you review it. We recommend doing this between each round of revisions. Taking a few days away lets you come back to your essay with fresh eyes, and will allow you to notice details that you missed previously. 

When rereading your rough draft, try to identify the themes in your essay. When you read it, what do you really learn about the author, and what impression do you get of them? What values are expressed, and how convincingly are they portrayed? Do the transitions between paragraphs make sense? 

We have an entire article on how to edit your essays, but weā€™ll cover some key points here:

• Begin big, then work small. If you decide a whole paragraph needs to be cut to make your essayā€™s theme make sense, thereā€™s no sense in perfecting the language within it. Begin with the essay and its themes as a whole, then each paragraph, then individual sentences, before finally considering word choice.
• Show, donā€™t tell. This is old and cliched writing advice, but it remains true. Instead of telling admissions officers that you love playing soccer, demonstrate it to them through your description of the game, and the time and sweat you spent perfecting it.
• Revise your thesis as needed to reflect the themes and message of your essay. If it goes too far from what you want to be saying, you may need to rework the essay entirely.
• Look for outside input. While you have to write the essay yourself, getting writing advice from your teachers or other mentors can greatly improve your writing, as they are liable to notice things you do not.

You should also remember that editing is a process. Some personal statements only need a few drafts to get to the version that truly defines you, while others require far more effort to polish. Our students go through anywhere from 3-10 drafts. Again, do not obsess over them, but put in enough work that you are sure what you are submitting is the best writing you are capable of.

Finally, make sure you know when to stop the editing process. There is sometimes a temptation to continue tweaking and revising, changing details and themes in pursuit of some unknown ideal. We recommend taking some time to breathe, and to realize that after a certain point, editing is no longer constructive to the process. Where that line is differs between different authors, of course, but as a rule of thumb, ten drafts is a good benchmark. 

Essay Scraps

You may end up with essay ideas that you do not end up using in the final drafts, but which still contain interesting ideas or well written prose. We often move these to a scraps section of the document instead of deleting them outright, in case there is material in them which can be reused in your supplemental essays. 

This also works for ideas. You will come up with many possible topics for your personal statement, but in the end only get to write a single essay. Keep your brainstorming work around, and refer back to it when you need to find topics to respond to common supplemental essay prompts. 

Final Thoughts

The personal statement is often a daunting thing, especially when you are stuck staring at a blank screen, waiting for inspiration to strike. We hope that this guide has given you concrete and useful steps you can take while writing your own personal statement, and that you are able to tell admissions officers your story well. 

Of course, you donā€™t have to do it alone. ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų are experts at helping students craft amazing essays; you can find examples of our past work here. If you want help on your own personal statement, or otherwise want advice on your college applications journey, schedule a free consultation today. We have a long experience in helping students tell their own unique stories, and are always happy to hear from you.

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Writerā€™s block is a problem which vexes thousands of students every year as they try to write their college essays, and one we encounter a lot while working with students. It can feel like an insurmountable problem, but there are some easy strategies you can use that will help you deal with it successfully. Weā€™re going to explore these in this article, and show you how you can vanquish your writerā€™s block, and write the perfect college essay.

Skip the Introduction

Beginning an essay is hard. Writing a catchy hook, formulating a coherent thesis, even figuring out a plan for the rest of the essay. It feels like a big first step, and a daunting one for many students to tackle, leaving you like the student above, stuck looking at an empty page.

Our advice here is encapsulated by a quote by Harlan Ellison, taken from his short story ā€œRepent Harlequin!ā€ Said the TickTickMan: ā€œNow begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself.ā€

This quote is on the nature of the story he is telling itself, but we have found that this works quite well as writing advice as well. Donā€™t worry about the introduction, donā€™t find the perfect hook or craft a compelling thesis, simply begin in the middle of whatever story you’re telling, where the action is. Once you have this down, and have the whole story on the page, you can go back and find the thread that starts it. Building a hook is easier when you know the point of the essay, and crafting a thesis that models it simpler when you can see the twists of the narrative. 

This advice works best for students struggling to start the writing process entirely, and those whose biggest hurdle is beginning an essay. This is a common issue we deal with, but have found significant success with this approach. 

Write Something Else

Writing is a skill, like any other. How do NFL quarterbacks hone their throwing skills to the elite level? By throwing footballs a lot. How do writers do it? By writing.

This advice is for students who find they get stuck partway through a narrative, or who can begin an essay, but not continue it, not seeing how their story should proceed, and being blocked because of it. We see this often as well, where an essay might have a strong start, but when the student does not know what step to take next, they get stuck. Our mentors can give advice in these situations, but how do you overcome it yourself?

Practicing writing, especially narrative writing, helps you better understand the flow of stories, and makes you more comfortable with your own voice. It teaches you how stories progress naturally, and how to move around or rework issues in the narrative you are telling. 

This approach does have limits, the primary one being that practicing things takes time; nobody becomes an expert overnight. This is the best tool overall for overcoming writer’s block, but may not be useful for all students due to the time commitment.

Rubber Ducking

There is a debugging method among computer scientists called . When the programmer has an issue with locating a bug in a particular piece of code, and canā€™t seem to isolate it, they verbally explain the problem to an inanimate object, traditionally a rubber duck. 

Your verbal reasoning centers in your brain use different pathways, and force you to think about the same issue in a different way. By articulating your issue to a neutral party, even (or perhaps especially), one which cannot respond, you force your brain to approach the familiar problem in a new way. 

This can work for writerā€™s block as well, when you are stuck for what to add next, what to write about, or how your story should end. Step away from the page, find a duck, and explain your essay verbally. How it starts, where it stands now, and where you want it to go. Often, the more natural tone you take while speaking can translate well to the page as well, making your essays sound more like it was written by a person, containing the kind of authenticity that admissions officers love to see. 

Building Outlines and Re-Brainstorming

Sometimes you get partway through writing an essay, and then get stuck. No matter how you approach the narrative youā€™re telling, thereā€™s no proper way to convey your intended meaning. This happens on occasion; not all ideas pan out in the writing process. In these cases, it can help to go back to your initial outline, or even back to brainstorming. 

It can be hard to realize that an idea just isnā€™t coming to fruition, but not all great ideas lead invariably to great essays. Sometimes a story doesnā€™t hit the right beats, or it doesnā€™t show the aspects of yourself that you thought it would. Writerā€™s block can and does occur when you simply arenā€™t working with the best possible story. In these cases, going back to your initial brainstorming with your newfound knowledge can show you concepts you previously overlooked which would serve much better. 

Read Other Essays

A final tip to get your creative juices flowing is to read what other students have written for their college application essays, either their personal statements or the supplemental essays various colleges ask for. The goal is not to copy them directly, either in subject or style, but to get a better sense of how these essays flow, and how they can be constructed. 

It is easy to take inspiration from essays that worked, or see how a particular essay structure could be well suited to telling your own story to colleges. We do want to warn again about copying essays too closely; these students got in because the essays they wrote shared something authentic about them. Your own essay will work well if it shows something authentic about you. 

For some examples of what these look like, check out our essay archive, or see our essay guides for top universities.

What Not to Do: Using AI

AI tools are becoming increasingly popular with students to assist in their essay writing, and college applications are no exception. The appeal of these tools is obvious; with some simple instructions and a few clicks what would have taken you hours is accomplished in minutes instead. There are, however, some significant issues with using AI in this way. 

The first, and most repeated, is that using AI to do your work for you is cheating. Colleges are quick to note this themselves, as can be seen in Caltechā€™s well-developed for how applicants should (and more often should not) make use of AI tools in the writing process. Note that they specifically caution against using AI in the drafting process. 

If your essays are found to be written using AI, your application will be rejected out of hand. Admissions officers want to admit students who are capable of doing the work required by an advanced college, and turning in an essay not written by you gives them no proof you are capable of what they ask for. 

In addition, the other point of admissions essays is to learn about who you are as a person, so they can ascertain how you will fit into the community they are trying to create. An essay drafted by AI canā€™t tell them this; only you really know who you are, no matter how careful your prompt instructions are to ChatGPT. 

Finally, we need to point out that AI is actually really bad at writing college essays. Weā€™ve discussed this before, but it simply isnā€™t capable of the same kind of prose and artistry achievable by a human. It can create something which is legible, but it lacks the style and flow that top colleges want to see in admissions essays. Even if it does seem like a silver bullet to cure your writerā€™s block, it will leave you worse off than before you tried to use it. 

Final Thoughts

Writer’s block is a persistent plague on those who put pen to page, and students struggling to write their college essays oft suffer its ravages. We hope that this article has given you workable strategies that you can implement to deal with writerā€™s block, and shown how you can get your own college essays back on track. 

Of course, as with everything else in the admissions process, writing the essays is easier with help. Our mentors are well versed in how to guide you from brainstorming, to choosing the perfect idea, to drafting your essay, to polishing it to perfection. Essay writing may not be easy, but it doesnā€™t have to be a painful process either. To learn more about how we can help you, schedule a free consultation today. Weā€™re always happy to hear from you.

The post How to Overcome Writerā€™s Block in Your College Essays appeared first on ³Ō¹Ļ¹ŁĶų.

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