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March is the season when college decisions are sent out, and students wait with baited breath to see what will come of them. Some students got in in the early rounds of course, but even as those grow in popularity, the majority of applications and decisions are in the regular round each year. Some students get the news they’ve long dreamed of, acceptance into their top-choice university, others, however, do not.ÌýThis article is aimed at the latter camp, those students who tried their hardest, submitted excellent applications, and still got rejected by their dream school. This can be difficult to deal with, both emotionally and logistically. In this article, we’re going to walk you through the steps you should take, how to mourn, how to stand up, and how to make the best of the future unfolding before you.Ìý

Getting Rejected by Colleges Sucks

There’s really no other way to put it; submitting an application to a college and getting told no is just not a fun experience. This is especially true because of the nature of college applications. Colleges ask you to bare your heart and soul to them in admissions essays, to showcase who you are as a person, your dreams and passions and ambitions. When you get rejected, therefore, it can feel as if a personal judgement has been passed, as if you specifically don’t measure up. 

The most important thing to remember is this: getting rejected from college isn’t personal. It isn’t an indictment of you as a person, your achievements, your passions, your dreams, your character, or any other aspect of you. There are many different reasons students get rejected, but it isn’t because of who you are as a person. 

This doesn’t make your pain any less real, but we do want to emphasize that point. It does suck, and it does hurt, but it doesn’t make you any lesser to get rejected by a college. Tens of thousands of excellent students, prize-winners and valedictorians, are rejected by top colleges every year. That is, unfortunately, just how the system is set up. There are more talented students who want to attend than there are seats at any top college. 

We also want to emphasize that you shouldn’t compare yourself to other students. It can be tempting to wade into the reams of videos online of students reacting to their acceptances to your dream school, to measure yourself against them, to wallow in the pain and resentment, drinking deep to bitter dregs. Another student’s acceptance did not cause your rejection. It feels like that, feels like that’s how it must be, but that’s not how college admissions works, and comparing yourself to those students who did get in will just compound your resentment and negative emotions. 

What then should you do if you’ve been rejected? Every student will follow a slightly unique path, but we’re going to share the steps we follow with our students, to help them make the most of the futures ahead of them. 

Step One: Take Time to Grieve and Process

There’s a good chance that getting rejected from your top college is the biggest rejection and setback you’ve encountered thus far. This is normal; applying to college is a major step for many students, and getting rejected here stings harder than a failed grade or slip-up during high school. While you shouldn’t wallow in it, taking time to process this, to grieve what might have been, is normal and healthy. 

We recommend speaking with counselors or parents about this, or otherwise working through an often complex whirl of emotions in a way that helps you contextualize and deal with them in a healthy manner. This is beneficial in two ways:

1. It helps you deal with what’s going on in the moment, helping you navigate a turbulent time.
2. It gives you skills so that the next time there’s a major disruption (such as rejection from a graduate program or a dream job), you have tools already at hand to help you handle it.Ìý

This step must come first, but can continue in parallel with other steps. Every student will handle things in their own way, and we do recommend speaking with a licensed counselor if you are experiencing significant emotional turmoil from this. 

Step Two: Assess the Damage

It can be crushing to get rejected from your top choice school, but there is a difference between a setback and a disaster, a rout and a retreat. Once you’ve processed the initial shock and pain of rejection, it’s time to assess just how much of a setback you’ve encountered. 

Some setbacks are larger than others, but experiencing less of a disaster than another student doesn’t make your pain any less real. It isn’t a competition. It is important to assess this however, as it directs what next steps you can take. Generally, there are several tiers of things going wrong. We’ll go through each and briefly touch on options, with more on that in the next section.

Rejected from your top-choice school. This is a painful setback, but the student still got into at least one other reach school; perhaps not quite the equivalent of their first choice, but in the same general tier. These students can then turn to attending one of these schools, preparing for college unabated.

Rejected from all reach schools. This is more painful, but these students do have target schools that admitted them. These students may look into transfer options, or may decide that one of their target schools is a good fit for their collegiate journey. How much they like their target schools in comparison to reach options will depend on their long-term goals. 

Rejected from reach and target schools. This is less common, but can still happen. This is why all lists should have safety schools, backup options in case everything goes wrong. Many students will not be satisfied with safety schools long-term, but they can still provide a start to your college journey. 

Rejected from all colleges. This is rare, but some students are either terribly unlucky, or build an unbalanced college list, one without safety schools. There are still options you can take here, which we will explore in a later section.

Based on how bad the damage is, and what admissions results you did get, will greatly shape the next steps you will take. As the pain of rejection fades to a dull ache, it is time to begin thinking seriously about what your college journey will look like. 

Step Three: Your Next Steps, Near and Far Term

Your next step is to decide where you want to attend college from the schools that admitted you. It may be painful to not go to a school you’ve been dreaming of, possibly for years, but college is still a key step in what comes next, and that means assessing what your options are, and choosing one which will bring you the most benefit. For those students who didn’t get into any colleges on their list at all, we will go over your options in the next section. 

None of the schools which admitted you are your top choice, but you must have seen something in them that appealed to you, otherwise why would you have applied at all? We go over the following with our students when comparing their acceptances, and choosing between schools which may not have been the favorite: 

• Program of study. Were you admitted directly into your top choice major, or into a field that isn’t quite aligned? If the second, how easy or hard is it to change to your preferred major?
• Cost. What financial aid have they offered you? This is hard to know when applying (even with financial aid calculators), but now that you have the offers on the table, you can make a better comparison. A school you may not have liked can become far more appealing if they offer you a good scholarship package.Ìý
• Fit. A school’s location, housing options, food, extracurriculars; all can play a role in where you decide to attend. Even if you don’t spend all four years there, you want the college you attend to be somewhere you are comfortable.Ìý

For many students, cost ends up being a deciding factor in these calculations. A state school which paled in comparison to your top choice may seem much more worth it when comparing the relative costs of schools, or a private school you hadn’t considered as highly may offer you more of a scholarship than anticipated. Whichever factors end up moving the needle for you, you should pick somewhere to attend college, and begin making the necessary steps to do so.

Submit your deposit, withdraw from other schools, apply for housing, begin picking out courses, all the little things that need to be done to become a true member of a school’s student body. 

Transfer Planning

In some cases, however, none of the secondary schools will do. You still must choose one to attend, but you can also immediately begin making a transfer plan. Thousands of students transfer between colleges each year, and you can still get into your top choice school (or another you have found and enjoyed), even if things didn’t work out the first time around. 

We have a full guide to transfer applications here, but the long and short of it is that after either your first or second year of college, you can switch to another school to finish out your degree. In many ways, this process is akin to applying to college the first time around, and just as preparing for that early brings good results, so too does preparing for transfers early. 

You do not need to do this, but if no other school will satisfy you, then enrolling and immediately beginning your transfer planning is the best use of your time. You know now what went wrong the first time, and can strive to become a better candidate for your second pass. 

What to Do if You Were Rejected by All Colleges

This is a very rare circumstance, and one we haven’t encountered with any of our students, though it does happen. If this has happened to you, it is time to assess your options. Generally, there are two main paths forward:

1. Taking a gap year and applying again as a freshman.
2. Enrolling in community college and applying as a transfer student.Ìý

Students who were weaker academically in high school will benefit the most from enrolling in a community college. High grades here will overshadow any struggles you had in high school, and make you a far more competitive applicant to your top college. Many community colleges accept applicants and enrollees until well into the summer, meaning this path is still open to you.

Gap years can be valuable, so long as you have a good way to spend one, one which demonstrates your passions and commitments. See our article on gap years for more information. 

Getting rejected everywhere can be devastating, and throw every plan you had into disarray. This doesn’t need to be the end of your college journey however, and it’s still possible to graduate from a great school, even after a setback like this.

Final Thoughts

There’s nothing fun about getting rejected from your top choice college, and there’s no way to soften the blow. It will always sting, but learning to deal with that, to handle disappointment and move on, building anew, is in itself a valuable lesson. Not one you want to learn perhaps, but still valuable for your future. Moreover, getting rejected from your top college isn’t the end of your future dreams, or even the end of your road to higher education.

We hope this article has given you the insight you need to process and deal with the sting of rejection from college, and material steps to get your college planning back on track. If you are looking for help planning out your own transfer pathways, or advice on what to do during a gap year, then ³Ô¹Ï¹ÙÍø can help. Schedule a free consultation today to learn more, we’re always happy to hear from you.